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Ajay Devgn, Anil Kapoor, Priyadarshan – kaash naam ki kaafi hota! The trio were part of a 2012 disaster called Tezz, which was an example of how perfect ingredients can also ruin a broth. Ajay Devgn is a Bollywood A-lister and serious roles come easily to him. Heard. But why Tezz? The movie had a near-perfect star cast with a pinch of thrill and a pinch of good songs – all knocked to simmer by Priyadarshan. But Tezz became a disaster in Ajay’s career. So much that jis Tezz I to he hit the screens, usi Tezz I to he fell too. How and why? Read all about it on Wahiyat Wednesday!
WHAT IS THE WEIRD ACCENT?
Tezz is set against the backdrop of the United Kingdom, where almost all Indians wear dark-colored glasses and often speak with a fake Hindi accent. For example, take a moment to remember those friends who start pronouncing “cool” as “kwel” one week in America or London. Before we begin, let us tell you that Tezz is the loose adaptation of the 1975 Japanese film, The Bullet Train gone wrong. The movie started with Zayed Khan (yes, he’s there too but that hardly makes a difference) telling Ajay Devgn (Aakash Rana) how much he missed him. But the face he makes while trying to act! Zayed tries too hard in the first scene that will make you want to scream’Low karo!’ By ab bol ke kya faeda?
STOP, KYA HAIN PLOT?
Are you waiting for us to tell you about the plot? Let’s do it the other way around, just like the movie. Aakash is an illegal immigrant married to a British citizen but is suddenly arrested and deported from the country. Zabardasti! Instead of applying for a VISA and making amends for his wrongdoings, Aakash feels that the mud he is in is not enough and asks the universe for more trouble. And that’s how revenge comes to mind. You wonder how? Bomb alert on a train! A plan is hatched and he knows all the steps to make his master plan a success but suddenly realizes, ‘Arre, labor toh bhool hi gaya!’ And that’s how Zayed (Aadil) and Sameera Reddy (Megha) get tricked. Never mind, they do a lousy job.
Now Aakash’s plan is to threaten the cops (don’t miss the guts) and collect money in exchange for information on how to spread a bomb on the train. Years and years of training police and deminers for nothing!
CAN WE SKIP TO THE RIGHT PART?
Yes, the only good thing about the movie is the Malayalam superstar Mohanlal apart from the mere presence of Ajay. What did we say before about a dish that falls apart despite ingredients that are too perfect? Yes, the same example applies here too. Mohanlal could have, and was, probably the only icing on the cake after Ajay. The Southern star played a cop who rescued passengers from the bombed train and had a gripping exit. But could someone offer him a better role, please?
FINALLY, CLIMAX!
Slowly, very slowly people continue to die one after another and Aakash is one of the last people left behind. Later, forced fight sequences and negotiations occur. In fact, it’s not until the end of the film that he learns he has a child and gives him a bear hug as the child looks clumsy. But there’s not much time left for emotions and he has to die in the end (oops). And a few other useless plots later, Aakash dies. He leaves a will that has become a letter to his wife and even before we can put our thoughts together on hua kyaPriyadarshan’s name flashes on the screen, indicating the end of the film and our loss of time.
That said, if you ever feel like you’re wasting precious moments in your life, better watch Himmatwala than Tezz. That way you can at least laugh, unlike Tezz which makes you feel like you’re operating in a vacuum. As if life wasn’t enough.
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